May 11, 2015

choose your own story

What's your path?

I use writing as a way to understand mine. During my 27th year, I wrote publicly and privately about lessons, change, hustling, and the power of positive thinking. This year I dealt with many unknowns, and navigated through some challenging times. I was tested in all areas of my life, both professionally and personally.

I can describe it as standing over a gleaming pool of darkness. You can't see anything beneath the surface, and you're equal parts enchanted and terrified. While daydreaming, you lose ground or you're pushed, and suddenly YOU ARE IN.

Your toes are snarled with hairballs and seaweed fingers envelop your waist. Your eyes are smudged from crying, because why wouldn't you be wearing mascara on your spiritual journey through a lake of sludge? You'll choke, and flail, and try to stay afloat, and just when you're about to drown, you'll find a way to kick back and look up.

You'll see a cloudless sky and it'll feel like the first time someone told you what the colour blue was.

The dirt will dissolve in fizzy black bubbles; you'll be clean again.

That is how I felt when I turned 28 last month.

While I learned more last year than any other year of my twenties, I discovered there also comes a time to choose a new story.

Repeating tales of murky water keeps you swimming in the sludge, even though you're technically clean. It keeps your mind messy. You have to make an active choice to create a new narrative.

Below are some notes I've been scribbling in my notebooks about the year ahead:
  • Choose higher thoughts
  • Create a life you're proud of
  • Surround yourself with people who support you, not bring you down
  • Continue to write/use creative outlets 
  • Find ways to make others happy 
  • Treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend 
  • Stay active 
  • Put down your phone
  • Never stop learning 

Although I don't know what this year holds, I'm eternally grateful for the chance to begin again.

As always, that is the most valuable gift anyone can receive.


Blogger's note: This year, I've also decided to change my social media channels from notamodelblog to my name. The blog will still be here (for now) but I feel that using my name is better suited to where I'm at right now. Hope you'll still follow along.

*Social channel changes
Twitter: @amandadipaq
Instagram: @amanda.dipasquale