November 24, 2010

Girls Do Not Dress For Boys...

Last weekend, a guy friend said to a large table of people that everything a girl does for her appearance (from wearing make-up to plucking her eyebrows to outfit selection) is solely dependent on males.


Of course, my outspoken self rose up from the table (as I started waving my arms in the most Italian way possible) and tried to debate with him. (I love a good debate)

While he wouldn't budge on the word everything, he had some fair claims.

Sure if I'm going on a first date, I'll take a little extra care in my appearance. Who doesn't want to show their best face in those situations? However, when I leave my house in the morning on a daily basis, I put effort (or lack of effort) based on how I'm feeling.

The new mascara I buy makes me feel fresh, I'm not buying it because I'm going to bat my eyelashes at the guy who sells me a transit token. And if I happen to bat my eyes at him, well so be it. I don't make decisions everyday based on what I think a man will prefer. It's been said that men aren't huge fans of high-waisted pants, UGG boots, boyfriend jeans, gladiator sandals, leggings... but would I stop wearing certain trends because certain men don't like them? Absolutely not. Well maybe UGGS, but that's a whole different post.

This Betsey Johnson quote pretty much sums it up anyways:

"Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they'd just walk around naked all the time."

As "after-school special" as this sounds: the person that will like me (or not make a snide comment) even when I'm sans makeup, big hair and big sweatshirt will be the one I keep around. At the end of the day it all washes off, it all goes back on a hanger and when your head hits that pillow you can't hide behind, or be seduced solely by glam.

Do what makes you feel good first. The rest is just frosting on a cake that was already delicious to begin with.

Speaking of "boy repellent" pants...
[credit: Stef Sgams] 
Pants: Zara
Shirt: H&M


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Hey nice outfit, looks familiar. Don't call MY pants boy repellent! they're awesome lol

    PS- Love Betsey Johnson's quote- very humorous

  3. Okay
    #1 Ugg Boots need to die, immediately
    #2 I dress in what makes me happy because if I'm not happy, chances are the people around me won't be either lol

  4. Amanda,

    You and I are both awesome people, presumably. And awesomeness is a precondition to arriving at correct conclusions. So here is mine:

    Girls want to have sex with boys. Boys want to have sex with attractive girls. Girls know this. So girls must dress themselves conscious of these basic principles.

    Yours truly,

    El gato.

  5. So I read this and just had to comment.

    I agree that while not everything a girl does/wears is to impress a guy, many things she does are.

    And here is my point, if I were to compliment you on the outfit you were wearing in those photos, that would make you feel good (part of what you use to dress) and would likely make you want to wear the outfit again.

    Now I know what you're thinking, a girl could have just as easily complimented you to make you feel good. But the thing is, a guy is much less likely to compliment a girl on their outfit. So getting a compliment from unlikely source multiplies its effect.

    Oh and by the way, that quote (while humorous) is untrue. I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere that many women feel sexier in lingerie than they do naked so yea... take that Betsey Johnson (whoever she is).

    Just my 2 cents.

    Ps you can bat your eyes at me anyway you want :p

  6. I understand dressing/grooming to impress and attract but why men? Do lesbians and bi-sexual women not also dress and groom themselves? Are they excluded from this narrow minded debate? Some people don't give a fuck what men think.

  7. I totally dress for other women! Guys aren't going to comment on the details of your outfit/makeup/hair when you go out - other girls will though. The approval of a fashionable friend feels great, and that's a big part of the fun of taking care of details of putting yourself together.

    Those pants are awesome!

  8. Girls are too proud to admit that how the dress, to at some inner level, is to impress guys. Marketing towards women and marketing toward men, both do the same thing: they intice women to buy products that will make them "sexier." why, so men will notice them. and the same thing can be said about the marketing towards men, just look at all those axe commercials as an example. marketing ppl arent stupid, they know how to intice ppl to buy. the research has been done, they wouldnt waste millions of $'s every year on it if it wasnt proven.
    now im not saying that girls dont dress to feel good about themselves, but the chances are when they buy jeans or tops, they think to themselves, do i look good in this? why do they ask that? to make sure they will impress some guy or that guys in general will notuce them. because lets be honest, if its really comfortabke and it doesnt make you look good, chances are 9 out of 10 times, the girls will not be buying that product.
    so i would definitely have to disagree with you.

  9. whats everyone opinion on adopting children as fashion accesories ? i'm seriously considering this, since its a big celebrity trend.


    Flamo blanco

  10. Couldn't agree more. My mood totally dictates how I dress...and nothing more. PS--Love LOVE your pants...Zara?

  11. First off the quote from Betsey Johnson has got to go...never have I heard something so ridiculous and untrue.

    Looking at this from an evolutionary biological standpoint, I'm leaning in agreement with you on the sole basis that "men don't choose women, women choose us."

    Hence, women don't "dress for" guys, but guys sure do dress for girls.

    It's basic biology; from birds, to reindeer, the alpha male wins over the female by showing off his coat, flapping his wings, or singing some weird mating song/call; translated in human terms: nice jackets, good cologne, great hair.

    In that case, I'd say guys who put the effort in to look good, dress that way because a)either their girlfriend bought them clothes or nagged them to get a make over,
    or b)they're trying to pick up.

    In reality a guy can never claim that he has ever picked up a girl, because really... the girl allowed the guy to pick her up since he exuded the image of a "perfect mate"

  12. Anonymous has a point...that he (I presume he) didn't make too clear.

    That is- Girls dress for other girls because they need to out compete for the male population on a sub-conscious level.

    Why else would they?

    No girl, including myself puts on makeup in the mirror and says "Oh my! I'm gunning to be the #2 hottest girl at the club tonight"
    No, we want to look the best and the hottest amongst all the girls.

    Beauty and youth is prized in our society, if not, why would there be anti age creams, dermalift "technology" it's all a marketing and promotional campaign that plays on these basic evolutionary concepts right below our noses.

  13. Great comments! I enjoyed reading every single one.

    Great debate points and topics.

    As for the Betsey Johnson quote, it was put it in more to spark debate, and to be cheeky rather than a hard and fast rule for the opposite sex.

    Thanks for all the comments, especially by all my male readers! :)

  14. love those pants and belt! looks great

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