January 26, 2010

The Sound of Settling

Dear You,

You say you want one thing. You describe it in detail and argue your case so well that it baffles me when you choose to remain, or go back to the very thing you said you didn't want? Hmm...

But alas everything makes sense now.

It's not baffling. It's back to comfort. Back to starry-eyed naivety and no pressure. Safe, uncomplicated, unchallenging child's play.

It's like milk and cookies. You dunk the cookie in milk, with concentration and skill until you have created the perfect mix of soft, creamy and melt-in-your-mouth sweet. But leave your cookie in the milk for too long and it falls apart. You're left to go on an underwater scuba search with your spoon to find those bits settled at the bottom. You barely remember the crisp wholeness it used to be, yet you eat the squishy bits anyways.
Those bits are your unexamined life. Relationships, careers and health are among the most common things that people settle for. It's the mentality that what's out there (loneliness, hard work and a challenge) is way more frightening than mediocrity.

The main thing that kicks me into high gear is thinking of a future where I'm in a career that doesn't stimulate me, a relationship/marriage that was just "convenient" and a blurry image of a girl who used to have all this ambition and hope.

So my pitch is this: if you know in your heart of hearts that there is a better career, person, or version of yourself out there- be brave and make the change.

Sure you'll have critics saying you're crazy, or that you'll never find a better [job, person, house, life] than you have right now. But those people are just scared to make the moves themselves. The journey may be tough, but at least you'll have your integrity along the way.

If my "life is a cookie" isn't doing it for you, I'll leave you with a quote from inspirational author Alan Cohen:

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."


  1. I love your blog so much Amanda! You have such a beautiful way with words.

  2. This was great! I totally one hundred percent agree with you. Somehow recently I have retreated back into my comfort zone. Its really not a place of ambition. But this post reminds me of how used to feel and what i believed. Thank you! I also have the same things kicking me into high gear, it works loll. Also, great quote. =) You rock

  3. Christina TacconelliJanuary 26, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    Manda I love this!

  4. I love cookies and Milk!!! and I LOVE this too everyone should print this out and put it on their fridge/mirror!

  5. Gorgeous post. I've been trying to cut out all the negative / toxic people in my life, but its harder done than said. They were the "convenient" people in my life. I wish myself some luck.

    Ps, I have a giveaway on my blog open to Canadian and US residents, check it out!


  6. That picture makes me want cookies & milk sooooo bad!!!!!

  7. Thank you for being the source of my motivation today. Love it!!

  8. Having cookies and milk will never be the same again.
    Good post!

  9. Don't ever settle for anything, if u want somwthing..get it! dont say maybe, dont say tmw, u want it, get it now! Yes, it takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. The new can be out there n not what u are accustomed too, but in change there is power!
    and as u have said before, do what makes u happy...not what u feel is the right thing to do to stay 'comfortable.'

    i like it!

  10. nice dipaq! wisely articulated.

  11. I truly love your blog, and I love this post. The way you write is so whimsical and youthful with so much truth entangled in it. I really love reading it.